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Parental Alienation Syndrome
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a form of emotional abuse which involves one parent turning their child against the other. I read in court reports that my children hate me and never want to see me again. They also believe that I don’t love them anymore - maybe in reading this website they will realise that this is not true. Only a year earlier they had told another Cafcass officer that they loved me and wanted to see me. I believe that their change of mind is due to Parental Alienation Syndrome. If you are in the same situation, here is further information on PAS:
Common cases of PAS will involve the children initially wanting to maintain contact with the other parent and changing their mind suddenly or over a period of time. This could be because
- the resident parent has lied to them about what the other parent has done, e.g. “he was violent, he had other girlfriends, he drinks too much...”
- they have had a sense of fear instilled e.g. “your dad will abduct you or is trying to take you away from me”
- they have been shown court papers with a one sided viewpoint
- the other parent has become upset in front of their children when discussing contact
- they have been bribed or coerced with the threat of punishment for wanting to see the other parent and/or rewards for negative behaviour towards them
- young children may have been told that they have a new mother or father and be confused
Some children are genuinely brainwashed and develop a false memory claiming that bad things happened in the past and blocking out any good times they had with their father or mother. Others know the truth but it is a matter of survival through fear, emotional pressure or an inability to deal with the pain of the divorce. The 1989 Children's Act states that children's wishes must be considered in court so many parents are aware that getting their children to state that they never want to see their father again will end contact.
The legal system aids this form of abuse by taking allegations against the non-resident parent seriously, even when there is no proof and however wild the allegations are. The court will then insist on contact in a contact centre making it difficult for the non-resident parent to maintain a close relationship with their children. Few Cafcass Officers are willing to recognise emotional abuse even when court reports show a change of personality over time. Schools, Social Services and other agencies will be reluctant to become involved and friends and neighbours might be hostile or join in with the abuse because they have been lied to about what really happened too.
In most cases the children do re-establish contact with the non-resident parent when they are older.
Help me change the law on PAS - click here
For more information on Parental Alienation Syndrome and the UK family law courts visit http://www.itsfinished.com/divorce/children.php
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